In recent weeks post, I have tried related to the behavior of the kids themes. Now that the holidays are approaching and we spent more time than usual with children, it is essential that we are clear how we deal with disobedience, the How should we punish if we have no choice.
But it is also important not to forget, that your attitude as moms and dads is essential when dealing with children and "deal" with their behavior.
In today's post I leave you some "must", that you cannot stop fulfilling as parents and partner.
- Setting limits is not the same as a dictatorship at home.
As I already mentioned when we discussed the issue of disobedience, Setting limits is not the same as completely restricting the child's freedom. We must let you make and make your own decisions, otherwise when your son or daughter grows up they will be a "wimp".
The limits should be a "reference" for its evolution. They are like the crumbs that you leave them so that they can continue on their way, but leaving room for freedom. You sure are thinking, but, Where is that limit of freedom? Therein lies the "problem". We each have a scale and, of course, it is difficult to stipulate which one is suitable. This freedom will always depend on the values and characteristics of the family.
Personally, my advice is if you are an overprotective mom or dad, make an effort to release your child. If you are uploading to a site you shouldn't, and from which you can fall, let him get on, as long as his life is not in danger of course 😉
- Lose the fear of NO.
Some permissive moms and dads are afraid to say no to their children. They don't want these to get mad or put on a number. First, you must be clear that you are their parents, not your friends, And in second place, when something is no, is not, and we must be resounding. Yes, remember that we must always explain to the little ones the reasons for our decision, nothing of "because I say so"Or as my father used to say, "when you are a father you will eat eggs". The children, just like adults, need a justification for decisions, and more for which they have not taken.
- The agreement in the couple is fundamental.
It is very important that both the father and the mother share the same educational methods and that, If that is not the case, at least in front of the children it seems so.
This agreement involves constant communication between the couple. You must always be informed of the evolution of your children, of what they do with one and the other. Inform us of their behavior, agree decisions together, etc. When children see that one of them is more permissive than the other, take advantage of the situation to try to achieve their goals. You never discuss decisions in front of them. Agree on them in advance and communicate them together to the kids.
- Authority must be based on stable values.
All decisions and “requests” that we make to children should be based on stable values. And The, for example, we want them to wash their hands before eating, we must teach them the importance of hygiene, the reasons why they should do it and what can happen to them if they don't. I assure you that if we explain things to the children, it will be much easier for us to “deal” with them.
- Educating participatively.
Obviously, This is a personal opinion and each one educates, as we have said before, based on your family values, but, from my point of view, I think it is fundamental educate in a participatory way, letting the children have their say and give their point of view. Let them propose options and alternatives to your ideas.
As we said before, if children feel that they are counted on and listened to, it will be much easier for them to listen to us.
- Children copy what they see.
I'm still amazed when there are moms and dads who ask me, I don't know why it is so? Me too, with a simple conversation, I realize that their children are like them. Remember that children copy absolutely everything they see. If you want them to do something, you should be the first to do it.
The fundamental objective of the education of your children is autonomy and maturity. Remember that they will not always be under your protection, and your responsibility is to give them the tools so that they can "defend themselves" in the world that awaits them..
- The rules are to be met.
We have already talked about this topic, and it's something you can't forget. If you set standards, they must be met, if not, it is better that you do not put them. Further, and taking into account what we have commented in the previous point, if there are a series of rules at home, you must be the first to fulfill them.
- Nobody is perfect.
You may think it's a no-brainer, but it seems that sometimes we forget. We are not perfect, and neither do our kids. We must show children that we all make mistakes, that they will commit them and that absolutely nothing happens. The important thing is to teach children to get up and learn from their mistakes. That is something that we can only teach them with a proactive attitude on the part of adults..
I hope today's post helps you remember those little things that you surely knew but that in the whirlwind of everyday life we sometimes forget 😉
Thanks for being there.
"The goal of education is virtue and the desire to become a good citizen."
Plato
Tags: attitude, Authority, behavior, educate, Educating participatively, Children, Limits, parents, Values